I feel I have failed at something more important than anything else in life, motherhood. I didn't want my kids to have a drunken mother and I was the only one of my four siblings that did not succumb to alcoholism. I know she was only 9 years old when my sister died at age 35 with 3 small children. Sometimes I feel: "My daughter would rather it was me that died as little as she cares for me." When my sister died, I know I had a lot of grief and a lot of fear because the cancer that killed her runs in families and the doctors were treating me like I was a cancer waiting to happen.
I wanted them to be proud of me and I was the only one in my biological family to become a college graduate. It was a terrible time filled with fright and grief.
I hugged them and told them I loved them everyday because my parents never did that for me. Thinking back, I realize now I must have not been there for my daughter completely with all of this on my mind. He had been my first boyfriend and we never had a real partnership or intimacy.
I could go on and on about all the things I did that I thought were being a good mother. Seeing my sister die at only 35, the sober reality of how short life really is hit me in the face like cold water. She once told me during a particularly hard time in High School "If it weren't for Joe, I'd be on drugs or pregnant." I was so happy that he took delight in listening to all of her teenage problems, give her counsel and advice.
Others regard teen dating as a natural part of the maturation process—an activity not without its risks but not a threat to the teen's health and safety.
Whatever side of the fence you're on, it's important to know that teen dating can come with negative consequences.
My little girl with her long brown hair, came running to me with flowers she had (illegally) picked at school.
These people are often sexual offenders, and they promise your teen gifts, parties and other incentives to get together.
However, it becomes a problem when your teenage daughter's boyfriend is actually just a bad boyfriend and bad influence.
You want to talk to her about this guy, but you have to do it in a way that doesn’t drive her further into his arms and out of your reach.
Discuss your expectations with your daughter, but make it about her and not her bad boyfriend.
For example, if she is dating someone you don't like, remind her of the rules in your household and the consequences that go with them, but do not use the boyfriend as an example.