A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed and wearing freshly pressed clothes—stylish, but not overdone. Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. I may email again, saying, “If you want to know anything just ask”, etc. It’s that you probably haven’t given her a compelling reason to be. “So if a man can make you into a more engaging person by writing a witty first email, wouldn’t it make sense that you could turn a man into a more engaging person by doing the same?but I still get no questions in return to start a conversation. If you want to know why your email correspondence online is generally flat and falls apart after a few emails, you have to look in the mirror and take responsibility for your part in it. ” “Yes, but it’s a lot easier when he says something and I can respond to him.” “I agree.Just today, I was on the phone with a client who was sharing the same experience with me: “ It wasn’t until she showed me one really GOOD email from a guy that she started to get it. But look at the emails you write back to the boring men.He asked her a silly question and started grilling her with more and more trivia questions, teasing her about what she might win if she got all the questions right. “It made me funny in response to him,” she replied. They’re just as boring as the ones that you received.Speed dating is the hot new alternative on the dating scene, compared to barhopping and online dating.In the present world of speed and frenzy, speed dating is the instant dating solution for today’s youngsters.
So dating experts advise that short of having a paper full of questions, you must be ready with a list of interesting, impressive and enjoyable questions that will keep the conversation thriving in those five-ten minutes. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk. She played along and pushed right back and they’ve already got a first date lined up. “He was so lively and engaging that I sort of had no choice but to come back with something equally witty and creative.” “So by him writing something playful and interesting to you, he actually brought out a more playful and interesting side of you? Wouldn’t it stand to reason that if you took the time to write something interesting and creative back to these guys, you might discover that they actually have a personality?I asked this client what made this email exchange different from the other exchanges. I mean, from the majority of your emails, you sound really boring, too.