Days, then years, arrived as a gift, unearned, which I received with both gladness and a degree of guilt.
The Basics It's never easy to console someone whose spouse has died, but it can be especially challenging when the deceased is your parent.
You body goes through automatic changes in order to enable you to cope with the trauma.
These responses happen automatically which means that it may feel out of your control, which may be scary if you don't know that it is normal. Some responses last for a short time and others for a longer time. Please don't push yourself to move faster than you already are going. Lack of power and control are two of the most devastating aspects of psychological trauma.
When my older brother, my only sibling, died two years later, I was emotionally unmoored, adrift in the wreckage of lost love, lost lives, and my own shattered identity.
As part of his grieving, he may experience depression, forgetfulness, disorganization, preoccupation with the loss and a lack of interest or motivation in activities that he used to enjoy.
Or maybe you're having trouble letting go, and you resent the fact that you father has given away your mother's clothes.
How can you comfort your surviving parent while dealing with your own loss?
It may help you to remember that every person experiences grief differently, and that losing a spouse isn't the same thing as losing a parent.